If love is blind, then why is lingerie so popular?

There are all different categories of what attracts someone to someone else. The most primal is a body parts. Not private parts, but a part of the body that you look at and are drawn to. Butts, chests, arms, legs, hands, feet, stomachs, shoulders. I think there is at least one fan out there for every part of the body. Those are the more popular ones, but if you try to think of the most bizarre inconsequential part, there is someone out there who loves it.

I suppose some of this could fall into fetish. I’ve heard some wacky stuff. Like “she’s got a great collar-bone”, “his ankles are hot”, “look at those shoulder blades!”. There was one guy who was into body parts that were gone. He was attracted to women who were missing their limbs. The stumps were sexy in his mind!

I would have to place myself into the leg category. It is one of the more popular categories and I'm amongst millions of other devotees. I love seeing a woman in a skirt with beautiful legs, it’s an immediate head turner. That’s the only reason I used to watch Entertainment Tonight….Mary Hart. She had great legs. They actually had her sit behind a desk with a clear front and had a light specifically shining on her gams. They knew what their audience was tuning in for. I haven’t watched that show lately. It seems these news programs have now started this new trend where the anchors stand for the entire broadcast…anyone else notice this?

You could probably trace back to what triggered your specific fixation on a certain body part. Probably somewhere in childhood (isn’t that where all the answers supposedly lay?) Someone was nice to you with that feature, the shape of your baby toy, the spot you were pinched or whatever.

So if your bored one lazy afternoon try to consider the possibilities and circumstances that attract you to that feature on a body. Consider what in your infant, child adolescent years it might have originated from. I know….it would have to be a really, really slow day to do this. But if you come up with any answers or theories let me know.

What Happened to Crushes?

You know I was thinking the other day that I haven’t had a crush in quite awhile. I’ve spouted out about what my thoughts about unpleasantness of the word itself, but “Crush’ is the most commonly used word to describe the infatuation you have for someone so we'll use it.

Most of my first crushes weren’t with real life people. They were from the movies or tv. You couldn’t like the girl next door who was your age. Cooties, you know. Like most guys my age, Princess Leia was one of my first. She was the only girl in those really cool movies. She was feisty, a princess, could fly spaceships and was very cute. What was not to love? In my adolescent mind I thought, “yeah, she would be the perfect girl”. I wasn’t aware about 50 million other kids were thinking the same thing. That's quite some competition to try to stand out to one girl. You have less rivlary at a bar. Leia deserved the adulation. To this day a generation still considers the gold bikini to be the sexist outfit ever.

To have a crush you have to see the person on a consistent basis, that’s what makes a crush. You can’t just see them once or twice. You have to encounter them consistently, then over time you think about them more and can’t wait to see them. Afterwards you would analyze what they said or what they were wearing. Then start planning on how to handle your next encounter with them.

Before hitting my crush stride with actual classmates, I pined for Daisy Duke, Catwoman, Wonder Woman, Joanie from Happy Days. Plus a few actresses I caught on the naughty cable channels, late at night and uh without my parents knowledge.
In school having a crush was great. It definitely kept me motivated. And I was excited about getting to that class, something that teachers only prayed for, unfortunately it wasn’t to learn. My attention would be solely on my object of affection. Who they talked to, did they pass notes, did they answer any of the teachers questions, oh my God I think they looked at me!

Cool stuff. But at some point, not sure when, crushes became less and less commonplace. It’s almost as if reality set in and the whole ideal version of happily ever that you envisioned with your crush has become more of a fairty tale. Time has passed and you’ve gone through pains of real relationships, gotten into fights, had to deal with over the top drama. The whole fantasy has been corrupted by our experiences. Now you’re conscious of the problems you would have to deal with; him/her having a crazy ex., being too much or a partier, lives too far away, not being very bright, or having nothing in common with each other.

Back then I didn’t worry about any of that. I’ve had a handful of crushes since the old school days, but none have come close to the perfection of Me and Princess Leia killing Stormtroopers together, her kissing me on the cheek and us flying off in a spaceship before the film fades out. I never thought twice about how far away she lived, age difference or that she was a fictional character. It was perfect. I don't think any future crush that I might have will ever be able to top it.

Well back to reality…..

Ahhhhh.....The Language of Love

If love is blind, then how is it possible to fall in love at first sight? Should the expression be "Love at first sense" or something like that?

Some of the terms we use for a relationship are kind of odd. Common phrases or expressions sound more like a trip to a hospital than adoration.

Everyone meets someone in their during their life that they admire from afar. We use the term "A Crush" to describe these feelings for someone. It’s sort of an appropriate description, since usually it doesn’t go any further than just marvel from a distance.

You go out somewhere and in order to meet you, someone has to "Hit On You". If things are going well you might "Hook Up’.

When you start to like someone more and more you become "Mad About Them" or you "Fall For Them", even possibly "Fall Head Over Heels" for them. They just might "Sweep You Off Your Feet". Be careful not to end up in traction.

You get in a relationship with them and become their "Main Squeeze". Doesn’t sound very comfortable.

Eventurally it’s time to "Get Hitched" or you "Tie the Knot". Why don’t we just use "Bound and Gagged"?

Valentine’s Day the most romantic holiday during the year. The spokesperson for it is a little guy in a diaper trying to shoot an arrow thru your heart.

When things turn sour they "Break Your Heart" and you have to "Break Up".

I realize all these are just expressions. And the best way to describe love is to make it into a more physical manifestation and pain can be such an intense sensation it seems like a perfect metaphor. But seriously if I told you, "I had a crush on this girl who I finally hit on. She fell for me and became my main squeeze until we decided not to tie the knot and broke up." You would think I was involved not in a relationship, but a struggle for my life. But "All’s Fair in Love and War".

If you can think of anymore odd phrases I forgot to mention please let me know.

Rearview Mirrors

I love odd trinkets. I was sitting in traffic the other day and started noticing the other cars. I’m not a huge car buff and never really admire cars. They all look generally look the same to me. You notice how cars have progressively gotten more and more round looking. There are barely any straight lines to them anymore.

Anyway, I wasn’t looking at the cars themselves, but at their rearview mirrors. Most of the drivers had something hanging on their rearview mirror. It got kinda interesting to see what people had hanging and how many times they would recur in other peoples cars.

Number one was necklaces or jewelry. I guess they’re pretty easy to hang . I’m guessing most of the time the charm on the necklace holds some significance to the driver. Maybe it’s religious or sentimental value. I guess it’s comforting for some people to know that St. Christopher is watching over them (he’s the Patron Saint of Motorists, yep it’s true). One good thing about putting up a necklace, it’s not as distracting as some other things people hang up.

Fuzzy dice has been a favorite for God knows how long. I think it gained popularity back in the 50’s. Teens driving their giant shiny cars needed a pair of fuzzy dice dangling up front. I don’t think they’re that popular nowadays or maybe I’ve just been looking in the wrong cars.

People love stuffed animals. They put them on the dashboard, in the back window and on the rearview mirror. There was one car that had a stuffed monkey hanging from it. Gotta have guts to put that up.

There were a handful of flags. Patriotic that’s nice. For awhile everyone had flags hanging on the outside of their cars. I guess now they graduated to be inside.

One car had what looked like wind chimes. I always thought the point of wind chimes was to hang out on your porch and when you heard them make the clinking noise you knew there was a breeze coming in. Not sure what good they are in a car. Maybe to make sure your air conditioner is working.

Scented pine trees have become a clichéd item. They’re really not very decorative and the main reason is for them to make your car smell all nice and….piney. I’m not sure who would hang up for any other reason than that. A lumberjack maybe?.

There seems to be a new trend of hanging cd’s on your rearview mirror. Have you seen this? I just don’t understand it. At first I thought it might be the drivers favorite cd and he had hanging there so he could get to it easily. But that didn’t make too much sense so I gave up trying to figure it out. It would seem to be annoying having a cd constantly bouncing around reflecting the sun into your face. But maybe that’s the point, make your car look like a disco.

A handful of drivers have nothing at all. I always interpret that as them being very straight-laced no nonsense drivers. “A car is supposed to be driven from Point A to Point B. No monkey business, either on the roads or the rearview mirror. They don’t get any enjoyment out of driving or maybe they are just not as flashy as others.

So if you have an unusual thingy hanging from your rearview mirror that I haven’t mentioned let me know. And if you know the reasons or rationale behind the cd thing clue me in!

Yearbooks

Looking through your old high school yearbook can really change your perspective on things. Things that seemed so important at the time seem a lot more mundane when there's more distance between you and your high school years. You read some of the details that were so great you had to put them under your picture...now they seem quaint and occasionally you have to rack your brain to even remember what exactly they are.

A yearbook itself is a collection of odd memories that are recorded at the time. If you were to completely forget them you probably wouldn't miss them that much anyway.

Your Photograph - it is a rarity that someone "loves" their HS photograph. Years later most people look at their photo and think, "Did I really look like that!?!? Was that hairstyle really cool once? or I can't even look at it!"
Just the thought that that will be the last image some of your classmates will have of you in years to come isn't very comforting.

Quotes - Everyone has those cliched bumper sticker sounding slogans that are supposed to be inspiring. You find them on every page. "Our journey ends..." "A bright future..." "What lies ahead...." it goes on and on. It's hard to think of one that's original, so the same ones get recycled over and over again. Some are quotes, some are song lyrics, some philosophical sayings. Almost all have been used before.

Most Likely - I never liked the idea of voting for someone for a beloved title of "Most Likely...whatever". The worst is the one who gets "Most Likely to Succeed". I wouldn't want the pressure that my class is counting on me to become a success. Why do I have to represent my Class that way? Are they going to help me reach this success or do I have to do it on my own? And how successful do they want me to get? Maybe my idea of success is different than theirs. And another thing, all the people who didn't win Most Likely to Succeed.....what is that telling them??? Is everyone else vying for the title of More Likely to Fail? They have little to no chance of succeeding?? Are we just categorized as: "Well Maybe With Some Luck You'll Come Close to Succeeding But We're Not Counting On It". You never saw that title under someones picture I guarantee you!

Popular People - Your flipping through the pages and you come across the same people over and over again. They seem to be on every page. Extra activities, sports teams, posing with teachers (the brown nosers). These are usually the people who win those Most Likely titles by the way. The Yearbook almost becomes their personal album about themselves that they're sharing with us. A little bit of fairness should be shown. I think everyone should get equal time, like Presidental Candidates. Of course there are kids who are more involved with school activities, but just because someone else isn't doesn't mean they shouldn't have equal page time! If your not in any of the photos of the clubs, sports or whatever, you should be given a spot to do whatever you want with. A tour of your locker, your favorite seat in the cafeteria, the spot where that bastard teacher caught you with a cigarette. The Class President shouldn't be more important than those guys who spent the last four years sniffing glue and doing doughnuts in the parking lot. The book is about OUR CLASS, let's give everyone equal time!

I didn't get to work on my Yearbook at the time. Most of my suggestions probably would have been vetoed anyway. It's doubtful they would ever sway from the traditional layout of them. I haven't seen any Yearbooks in recent years, so maybe they're much different now. They'll always serve the same purpose. In years ahead most people will look at them and see how much they've grown, think about certain people they haven't heard from in years and think about what they might be doing, and marvel how nice looking that one particular person (everyone has one) looked and hope that time wasn't too kind to them....unlike you, which have just gotten better as time passes!

Taking A Baby Step, But Still A Step!

The following story takes place in late 2008. It was somewhat of a catalyst for my social adventures. It was an unexpected innocuous incident that helped increase my confidence and a sign to me that transforming myself from the once geeky, shy kid into a confident individual was possible.


So, I had been trying to amp up things. A day that started horribly quickly turned into the most uplifting days I've had in awhile. The funny thing was, nothing really monumental happened, but I felt good because at least I tried and went after the potential that was sitting there in front of me.

I was going for a job interview. Of course I goofed up the directions and got lost. What's the one thing you must never do at a job interview - be late! Remember that kids. Always give yourself ample time to be there on time. Fortunately, the lady I was meeting with was very forgiving about my tardiness.

So I get there, call the lady and agree to meet her at the Starbucks across the street to avoid going through the amped up security in the building. I found the Starbucks, no problems with that one. I was never a big coffee guy and this whole Starbucks popularity completely escapes me. I've only been in a Starbucks once before in my life - and that was to use the bathroom. Wanting to blend in I went to order something. I didn't know what to order and basically asked the guy for something cold, since I was still stressed from getting lost. I got my iced coffee and took a seat.

Luckily, the place wasn't very crowded, something I was a little concerned with. I didn't feel like having a job interview in the middle of a room of perked up patrons. I take a seat at this counter facing out the window. Four chairs, I took the fourth and in the first I noticed an attractive brunette reading a newspaper. Hmmm…

The lady I was meeting with comes in and immediately recognizes me as her candidate – I guess I looked more out of place than I thought. She sits down in seat number three and we begin talking. She starts telling me about the job and I voice my questions. All the while this is going on I keep sneaking peeks at the newspaper girl. I start thinking about what I could say to her and it really started to distract me. Finally I tried to shut her out and focus on the reason I was there – this interview!

After about forty minutes we wrap things up. It all sounded pretty good and it went well. The end to that part.

Once that was settled my mind started to drift back to newspaper girl, who was still sitting there. I purposely took my time in gathering my things and thanking the lady for her time. I wanted her to walk out, if I was going to try to hit on newspaper girl I didn't want the person I just interviewed with being there and I didn't want to walk out of the place. I know if I did, walking back in a few minutes later would look really weird.

Luckily the lady walked out and I didn't hesitate. Lately I've been watching and reading a lot of these pick-up techniques and advice. There was a time when me and my friends would all be trading tips and borrowing books on the stuff, but in recent years I've just let that fall by the wayside. Plus, realizing I'm pretty much on my own nowadays has helped fuel my motivation to try to meet people. I've been going out on my own with the hopes of seeing some girl and getting enough confidence to talk to her. So I've had that on my mind a lot lately. Once I saw the newspaper girl I knew I would regret it if I didn't try something.

So once I started packing up my things I looked over to her and said something like "I kept wondering what you were reading. You looked very absorbed into that newspaper" or something like that. Honestly, I forget exactly what I said. But it started the ball rolling.

She answered and I explained that I was just having a job interview and about how she kept distracting me. Then an actual social interaction took place involving, how she's waiting for her friend who was also interviewing somewhere, she just graduated from law school, lives out of town, came in for the day, is from France, etc. Her name was Narja, or something unusual like that.

We ended up talking for awhile. I wanted to get out of there before her friend came back. I didn't want to have to try to get her number with her friend standing beside her. Unfortunately, I didn't get her number. I did ask, but she refused, I said ok, wished her a nice time with her friend, said it was nice meeting her and I was gone.

Now, of course this didn't result in a successful hookup or whatever, but I was ecstatic! I was so proud of myself for having the nerve to start talking to her that I didn't care if I got shot down. In the past I would have looked at this cute girl, hope that she would of said something to me and when she didn't sulk out of the place pondering 'what if.....'.

I realized a few things I did wrong, at least according to the pickup videos I've been watching. But I got over a hurdle, something I had never really had done before as sad as it sounds and found out it's not that hard!

This encounter really got me pumped up and optimistic for further adventures and it helped me realize it's not that difficult. The only thing making me feel that way is my mind. It's funny, this girl probably quickly forgot about this interaction and will never have any idea of what an accomplishment it meant to me. Go figure.

And So It Begins.......

Welp, since the start of the year I decided to get back into the dating scene. Jumping back into the fray, so to speak. This could get ugly…

I hadn’t expected this (most things in life are like that). A year ago I saw a different path I was going to be on, but circumstances arose that caused a major detour. To put it simply, a long term relationship I was in abruptly ended and I was faced with being in the single situation again.

In my single existence, I was never a dynamic social animal. I was never one who was well-versed in the ways with women or attracting them. I was basically an idiot. I was the guy who would stand on the sidelines hoping something would happen, never trying to make it happen. My shyness and lack of confidence was a fatal detriment to improving my social circumstances. After some reflection and some quality ‘Me Time’ I decided it was finally time to make some real effort in improving this aspect of my life.

It’s been a slow start since the beginning of the year, but I’m ready to give the attention that is needed on this. Admittedly, I have no idea what I’m doing. I’ve been trying to cull any information or advice I can on the subject of meeting women.

I wanted to document this experience for my own benefit. Hopefully, knowing that I’m recounting these experiences and charting my progress in this area will provide an additional motivation of not to neglect it.

I know there are others out there in similar situations. Single folk who are looking for that special someone with their own obstacles to overcome. With any luck my accounts could help them or at least open the window to hearing their thoughts and feedback.