The Art of Small Talk

My friend is great at the art of engaging someone in small talk. He could be talking with a high power attorney, a checkout clerk, a construction worker or someone he hasn't seen in years and hold his ground and be as engaging and personable with any of them. He is always able to leave them thinking "he's a pretty cool guy" and leave a lasting impression of the encounter.

Some people are able to do it like it's second nature and others struggle with it. Like when you see celebrities walk down the red carpet at an awards show or a movie premiere, they just look comfortable doing it. If an average person was doing it they would come off looking stiff and awkward. They wouldn't know how to carry themself.

How I define "small talk" is simply a brief conversation that doesn't have any real deep significance. It could be commenting on what's going on around you at the moment, a catch up session, or just some general topic.

I have never been good at small talk. It's quite a handicap when your in a very social situation where you don't know many people. It's very easy to come off that your aloof, uninterested or just a plain miserable person. I'm sure I've given that impression unintentionally. I've never heard of a class that teaches you how to properly engage in small talk, I could definitely use it.

Small talk just seemed very pointless to me, I guess that's why I never mastered it. Just the thought of talking with someone about some mundane issue and then moving on to someone else to talk about another more boring topic doesn't really light my fire. If your spending a few moments with someone I think it would be much more satisfying to talk about something more worthwhile. Let's really talk! Unfortunately if I tried that I probably get smacked.

The worst is when I bump into someone that I knew from years ago, like former classmates. Generally if I haven't talked with them since school it means I was never interested in maintaining contact with them and probably vice versa. They recognize you and you have to give them a quick recap of what you've been up to. Sometimes it will be said, "oh we've got to get together", which rarely ever happens. And you wonder if you'll bump into them again in another fifteen years.

I realize small talk is a required step, especially when your first meeting someone. And I'll still try to get better at it. But I wish I could carry a card with my vital stats and a quick synopsis of my feelings about the weather. Hand it to them and say, now can we discuss something a little more weighty. Until then, I'll just try my best and try to remember it's a necessary social skill and hopefully I'll get better at it. Luckily I won't have to be walking down any red carpets in the near future.